Fodder for the masses
So, I’ve been wracking my none-too-taxed brain for days, trying to come up with a good blog topic. Isn’t it funny how that happens? I started out blogging a long time ago, and 2 or 3 people I knew would read it and maybe even comment now and again.
Now I have a few….well, actual READERS….and the pressure…well….it’s immense, let me tell you. (ok, not really, but it *could* be!)
The idea for this one came when the man and I were driving to his mom’s house, and we were discussing the environment. Ok, not really the *environment* per se, but rather the plethora of SUVs and what I like to call ‘BATs’ (big-ass trucks) that all and sundry appear to have for no apparent reason. He mentioned reading that the Ford F150, for example, is (in this country at least) supposedly the best-selling vehicle of all time. And that there are more Ford F150s on our streets than there are people in Australia. (who compiles this data, I have no idea. Probably the same person who came up with the statistic that the ‘average American’ swallows between 15-30 spiders in his sleep over the course of his lifetime. And I ask again: HOW DO THEY KNOW?! But I digress….)
So, in the interest of science, I started to casually count Ford F150s on the drive to his mom’s. The distance is approximately 9 miles. I counted 11. ELEVEN. Think about that for a second. Pretty damn scary, right?
What’s more, all but 1 of them was so patently shiny and buffed it wasn’t used to haul anything, ever. And I’m sorry, but when you get a WHITE truck with GOLD trim on everything, chances are it’s just a showpiece and the only thing you’ll be hauling with it is your sorry ass home from the bar.
So we thought…wouldn’t it be funny….if everyone who owned a truck and/or SUV (and sorry if this includes yourself) were to be interviewed say, 6 months after purchasing said vehicle. And if all that room and cargo space wasn’t technically needed, you would be forced to downgrade to a vehicle more suited to your real needs.
We have a mutual friend who said he has always been tempted to go up to any SUV, throw a handful of dirt on it, and say, “So THAT’S what it’s supposed to look like!” Oh, we laughed and laughed.
As far as we’re concerned, unless you have 4 or more kids, you don’t need an SUV. And if you’re not hauling anything, you certainly don’t need a Ford F150 (particularly with an extended cab).
Now this may not be a popular view, but I’m daring to be controversial here. I’d like to have a decent planet to raise my daughter on. That can’t happen if, as a society, we keep going bigger and bigger. I’d like to see more Priuses and fewer Hummers. (and don’t get me started on the CANARY YELLOW HUMMER I see all the freakin time. Good grief! )
And so, with that in mind, I thought that could top my new list of:
Things I Would Make Illegal If I Could
please add your own when you comment!
* driving vehicles much bigger than you need
* backing out of parking places without even looking
* leaving a restroom without washing your hands
* cell phones during movies
* strangers rubbing my belly just because I’m pregnant. (seriously! how do people have the consummate audacity to touch a person they don’t even know?! I ask you)
* for that matter, any kind of groping/grabbing/asspinching that is uninvited
* not leaving a tip
* any thumping bass from anywhere in the middle of the night
* people who let their children scream blue murder in public places and completely ignore it
* disregarding common courtesy such as “please”, “thank you”, and my personal favorite….”excuse me”
* trains blowing their horns more than strictly necessary (anyone who lives near tracks knows what I’m talking about, here)
* loudly talking on cell phones in public places, and/or getting indignant when people stare
* this one may very well just be me, but…..dog-earing pages of a book that doesn’t belong to you…just….grrr
* this one may just come from working retail for so long, but….parents who stand idly by (indeed, often watching) as their offspring systematically destroys property that isn’t theirs, and walk away without a thought of purchasing said now-damaged goods
* borrowing things without asking….I’m always willing to help out but ,you know….ask. I would never do it to someone, and I expect the same courtesy. Is that wrong?
* now I’m an animal lover in a big way, but people who let their dogs bark all night long need to be strung up and pooped on. Yeah, I said it!
* camel-toes. No one needs to see that.
Ok, I’m going to stop before I sound even *more* anal and uptight!
Hope you found this entertaining, at least…and I look forward to reading your contributions!