Dorkline News
*a lonely wind blows*
*a roadrunner scuttles by*
*a lone tumbleweed ambles past*
Yes, dear readers, I am still here.
Still waiting.
Tick tock.
*le sigh*
Still having contractions. Still trying all those lovely ‘tricks’ from pressure points to pleasure points. Still nothing. So what does a dork like me do to distract herself once again? She blogs.
And it seems to me that it is about time for the next installment of Dorkline News: in which I sum up my current week in headline form. So without further ado, I give you the newest chapter in the Neverending Carpet Ride That is The Mayor’s Life
Driving Miss Crazy: How Idiot Drivers Take On New Menace In Light of My Precious Cargo
Full Meddle Jacket: What Strangers Don When Dishing Out Unasked For Advice On My Pregnancy
Sexual Unreeling: Ironically, What Got You Here Can Also Help Get You Out
The Fantastic Floor: Pretty Patterns To Stare At While Pacing Rounded Squares
Beyond the C: Happy Joy When Baby Lets You Escape A C-Section By Staying Put (see: ‘Turning Point‘)
and finally
Fister in the Scrubs: Surviving Nurse Ratched and Her Livestock Maneuver (Twice)
Edit: I do have to throw this little anecdote in, since it is hilarious and I forgot the first time around……Nurse Ratched *did* actually make me laugh before I left that fateful Night of Two False Alarms…….she shared this story:
She is from Missouri, and one day a woman came into the Birth Center and announced, “I’m here to have my baby”
Nurse Ratched asked, “How far apart are your contractions?”
“I’m not having any” the woman replied.
“Well, did your water break?”
“No”
(at this point she was getting confused)
“Um, well, did you lose your *censored for male readers* yet?”
“No”
“Then forgive me for asking, but why are you here?”
“Well”, said the woman, “it’s my due date!”
WOW.
At least I’m not *that* bad!
Thank you, as always, for reading.
The Wait continues.
Though I have to laugh every time we try to speed things up a bit. This is, after all, *my* daughter we’re talking about, here. She’s already proven she’s a bit of a rebel.
She will make her debut when she is good and ready.
And not one minute before.