let’s be frank
Greetings gentle readers!
It’s pretty amazing to contemplate, but my lil Puddin Face is now SIX MONTHS OLD. How is that even POSSIBLE? It seems like just yesterday I was a parade float, wobbling down the hallway, getting sent home from the hospital, complaining about endless contractions!
And now I have this amazing little person who is the light of my life and the joy of all my days (and nights). She is such a character. She LOVES to look at pictures of herself, watch movies of herself, see herself in the mirror….we’ve got a real diva-in-the-making, here! She loves to laugh and be silly with her Mommy too (well, duh)…she is ‘talking’ all the time, sitting up like a big girl….I’m finally undertstanding the whole ‘growing up too fast’ concept.
Anyway once I’ve started on Puddin Face, there’s no stopping me….so I will try to digress and get to the topic at hand, since it’s one I’ve wanted to blog about for some time, but again, hard to tear myself away, been busy….
where was I?
Oh yes.
I actually have a point this time, and it’s a good one….one that I hold dear to my heart and one that I practice every chance I get. It’s really quite simple:
Talk to people. Everyone has a message, a story, a lesson….each person you encounter is like an unopened gift.
(and, ok, some people may leave you not wanting to open the gift. That guy that cut you off, for example. In his Lexus. On his cell phone. He might not seem like such a present. But look deeper….didn’t he teach you, if nothing else, that he is perhaps compensating for something? Maybe he taught you that no one needs to be in that much of a hurry. Now, aren’t you glad you’re not HIM? See….everyone has a message!)
I have a point. I swear. Ahem.
So I used to live in California for a lot of years before I moved up here. And every day or thereabouts I would stop in this corner gas station. (I was in such denial about my smoking at the time that I bought my cigs one pack at a time for years….I would literally say ‘this one is my last’ every damn time. I have since finally quit…..frankly I would have never done it if I had ever known I would ever have a Puddin Face and hope I didn’t do any lasting damage…..but, again, I am off the point…..is there any hope for me?)
Almost every time I went in there I would see the same man working. We’d exchange a few pleasantries and I’d be on my way. No big deal. Then one day I had a really crappy day at work. I didn’t really need anything, but I stopped in on my way home. That day, I realized something: it may not be any big deal, but I really got a boost from seeing this man’s big smile upon my arrival. “Hello my friend!” was his customary greeting. That day was no different. It gave me just the lift I was looking for. I decided on a pack of gum, and as I was paying for it, I decided not to keep it to myself.
“You know” I said, “I had a crappy day today and seeing your smile really gave me a boost. Thank you.”
The weirdest thing happened: he actually got choked up! He shook my hand for much longer than was necessary and said “thank you” right back. From then on, I called him by his first name….Frank. He knew my name, but he still gave me my favorite greeting….”Hello my friend!”
I never asked Frank how old he was, but he looks to be about in his mid to late 50s. He is from Cambodia, and has one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen. One day I went in and had a paper cut on my arm from a box. “What is this?” Frank asked as he made me wait while he got some antibiotic ointment and a band-aid. It was so not a big deal but it made me smile the way he fussed over me.
Sometime later I had quit smoking and found myself making excuses to go in there anyway. I bought a lot of gum and gatorade. Obviously by this point Frank and I were talking more about life and different things….he felt more like a friend. Obviously I was friendly to everyone else that worked there, too….but Frank was my special buddy.
One day I went in and Frank wasn’t there. His co-worker looked a little stressed out and told me that Frank wasn’t in and he wasn’t sure when he’d be back. I was very concerned and asked what happened. I was just told he’d had some type of accident.
And I know I appreciated Frank at that point, but I didn’t truly feel his impact until he wasn’t around for a few weeks. I just felt a little off my feed….not as perky and not as much spring in my step.
Anyway a little while later Frank came back….and the day I walked through the door and saw his shining face again I can honestly say my smile was off the charts. “You’re back! I’m so glad!” I exclaimed. I asked Frank what had happened, but he was surprisingly reticent about the whole thing. My only clue was a large cut on his face that was still healing. I figured he was in a car accident. I didn’t press him.
I did, however, ask him if he would come around to the end of the counter so I could give him a hug. He did so, and I told him he needed to take care of himself. That was the second time I made him get all choked up.
Several years later, when I decided to move up here, (after spending hundreds of dollars at the gas station)…I can honestly say that telling Frank I was leaving was one of the hardest things I had to do. In fact, when I saw his face fall, I almost changed my mind. Isn’t that incredible? But my daily dose of sunshine wasn’t any more happy about losing me than I was about losing him. I promised him I would stop in whenever I was in town again, and I do.
It wasn’t until I told him I was leaving that he told me what had really happened to him in his ‘accident’. Turns out someone broke into his house while he and his wife were sleeping. He came out to investigate, and the guy stabbed him three times. Frank is lucky to be alive. The robber was caught and jailed, and, unbelievably, Frank didn’t press any additional charges. “He has God to answer to” was all he said on the subject.
My time is running short here but I want to stress here how much of a gift I would have missed out on by never getting to know Frank. He is an extraordinary man on so many levels and I’m honored to know him.
When I visited last year and was expecting, (I get such a kick out of the incredulity of other patrons who see our exuberant greetings and huge hugs when we reunite)…Frank held me at arm’s length and announced “You…are going to have a girl.” Several weeks later I found out he was right.
This most recent visit to California was great….I got to see my Bro and his family and show Puddin Face off to a bunch of my friends for the very first time. But I gotta tell ya….a highlight for me was carrying my beautiful little girl into my favorite gas station and watching Frank’s face erupt into the biggest smile yet.
“Hello my friend!”
Puddin Face seemed pretty taken with him, too.
To sum up: talk to everyone. Let’s be frank. You just never know where it might lead!
Update: What with one thing and another, (read: two babies in two years) I hadn’t been down to California in several years. When we went there over Thanksgiving 2010 (when we all promptly got extremely ill), Frank’s gas station was being completely remodeled. Since he’s never home, working two jobs, he never answers the phone, either! I was very pleased to have tracked him down again this trip back. We met for lunch, caught up, (he and his wife have now moved into a lovely retirement complex which he loves and I am happy since it is in a much safer area!) and he fawned all over my girls. I wish I had captured his trademark smile in the photographs, but he is self-conscious about pictures. Trust me when I say it could power the sun 🙂