eyewitless news
Greetings gentle readers!
Having no way to organize my thoughts, as this requires brain power, I’ll just dive right in again, shall I?
Puddin Face and Velvet Head are doing well and thriving and WE NEVER SLEEP, EVER but other than that, we’re adjusting marvelously!
You would laugh so mightily, gentle readers, if I were to publish this ‘as is’ without fixing all my typos….but then you wouldn’t understand what I’m trying to say, and…..say, do you understand my blather even at the best of times? Do I ever make sense?
Just sayin…..
Oh, look…something shiny…..
Right. So the title of this blog refers to the fact that I am observing events in my life from a very sleep-deprived, thus witless, perspective.
Now that we have *that* factlet out of the way…..
You know your life has entered a new phase when you once again find yourself arguing over such arbitrary stuff…..(and by ‘arguing’ I mean ‘debating in a playful manner with bitter undertones that let you know that yes, there are some rather strong feelings attached to this topic, thank you very much’)
Let me share a for-instance. Shane and I have devolved to that level where we are outwardly supportive but inwardly spiteful about the amount of sleep being had around here….a fly on our wall might overhear a conversation or fourteen that goes something like this:
“Well, at least *you* slept last night for more than 45-minute stretches…..”
“Actually, no, I didn’t. I woke up a bunch of times.”
“(snicker) I don’t really think you did. I woke up at least 12 times and every time I did you were sound asleep. In fact, I believe you were drooling.”
“That’s not possible. I only slept for one hour, off and on, and the baby wakes me every time she turns over. You know that.”
“(snicker again, a little more snidely) Well maybe so, but you still must have slept longer than I did.”
“It doesn’t matter if I slept for 12 hours. Waking up every 15 minutes IS NOT RESTFUL (chortle)”
“(playful elbow) You still slept longer. I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“What makes you think my eyes are open? I painted my eyelids last night.”
“Just the fact that you had the energy to paint them proves that you aren’t as tired as I am.”
“Haha! Well at least *you’re* not breastfeeding and on milk-boosting meds that make you tired on top of that and watching both of them all day every weekday!” (Velvet Head’s acid reflux made her nurse less, which made my milk production drop, which made her fussier at feeding time, which perpetuated the cycle. Thankfully, I’m done with those stupid ‘MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS’ (my ass) pills this week. So that will be one less cause.)
“No, but I do have to try to work all day and function there.”
“Right. I don’t have to be on hyper-alert status with a toddler and a newborn all day. That’s not tiring at all. Not like, say, sitting in front of a computer all day!”
And so it goes.
Our discussions are soooooo cookie-cutter that I’m sure they don’t even make a ripple in the space-time continuum. But when one steps back and suddenly realizes that one is arguing with one’s spouse about WHO IS MORE SLEEP-DEPRIVED, or WHO CHANGED THE LAST POOPY DIAPER, let’s just say one knows a new chapter has begun.
We’ve done this before, yes. But this time: it’s personal. Sleep is even more precious. Smells are more multiplied (Puddin Face is going to start potty-training just as soon as we’re in some sort of routine and I have more time to devote to it. I, for one, can’t wait.)
(Yes, I’m being both serious *and* sarcastic here. I can’t wait to get her trained; she’s a smart cookie and I’m sure it will go quickly, but at the same time……ew. Just sayin’.)
Speaking of going quickly….that’s my cue.
How is everyone?
Anything exciting this weekend?