Greetings gentle readers!

I’m ecstatic to report that BOTH MY CHILDREN remain diapered at all times. Speaking of potty training….

Hey! That reminds me! My brain is fried. My partner in crime often tells me it’s a good thing he’s around to finish my sentences….because someone has to.

Bearing that in mind, (if you can hold a thought, unlike myself)…here’s the latest installment of the Mayor’s randomization-ations. Yet more stray thoughts that haunt the fringes of my existence like an unsolved murder case. In fact you’ll be helping me out, gentle readers…this crap is taking up space on the ol’ internal hard drive that I can scarcely spare at the moment. (<–I would say this is an understatement, but I continually prove my own point.)

So, thanks.

1. I’m increasingly weary of those stupid Glade commercials, featuring the LYING LIAR who LIES. They show this crap in between so-called educational programming. You know the ones I’m talking about. The mommy is in the bathtub, LYING to her friend on the phone that she’s at the spa. The mommy spends all day playing tennis with her friends and pretends she’s been cleaning all day. The mommy lights a candle and LIES that she just baked cookies. WHAT ARE WE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN? Don’t they learn deception early enough? How are we supposed to teach them it’s wrong if THEY SEE IT PORTRAYED LIGHTLY ON TV BY ADULTS?

Grrr.

2. I was forced, at gunpoint, to join Twitter, since we all know I have so much free time to be farting around on the Internet. I have to admit, apart from cyber-stalking celebrities, I just don’t get it. Are our lives THAT interesting? Should there not be a LIMIT to how many posts one can put up in a day? Like, once you pass 20 the get-a-life meter kicks on?

I have been SORELY tempted to post: The Mayor just took a shit. It was a 3-wiper. (oh, don’t even act like you haven’t wanted to do the same thing. Just hush.) EDIT: yes, I have been forced to eat much crow since I posted this. I found a playground and I’m stayin’ 😛

3. If I had a nickel for every person who used a cliche……I’d need a very forgiving bank.

4. I’ve decided I’m not an *ideal* role model for everyone. The other day, out of the blue, Puddin Face saw some guy on television and announced “He looks like a PUNK.” I’ll give you ONE GUESS where she picked up that little gem. I simply can’t wait until she points to someone in public and says it again Other favorites include “That’s a buncha BUNK” and “Oh my GAWD.” See, I think I’m doing the right thing by damping down what I INTENDED to say…..until I hear it come out of the lips of a 2 1/2-year-old. All I can say in my defense is:

Awhupsie :X

5. I recently saw Naomi Watts on Letterman, where she expounded on having TWO BOYS under the age of two. Oh. My. Gawd. She said she never sleeps, and that she has, in fact, lost 75% of her brain power. Dave said surely that was an exaggeration, to which she replied something like “No. It halved, then it halved again.” Oh, how I laughed and laughed. Then she talked about how she’s also nursing, which actually does steal brain power, and she called it the “lactose lobotomy.” I howled. Sooooo true.

Speaking of which, I need to cut this short.
Moooo and all that.

Thanks for sticking with me, gentle readers…I heart all of you.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 at 11:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.