green potato chips
Hi.
I don’t like Facebook. There. I said it.
I’m very passive aggressive about Facebook, as well. Sure I’m *on* it, only because there was this MASS MIGRATION over there, and I’d still like to keep in touch with my out-of-state friends, and if that’s my only option for doing baaaaaaaaaaaaa. Sorry, what was I saying?
Facebook? You ‘herd’ me! (photo by PsychoPxl)
And yes, okay, Facebook may be less VISUALLY ASSAULTING than MySpace. Their ads are more discreet. It’s a much simpler design, and I can dig all that. Really. But I gotta say for a ‘social network’ it’s not very, well…SOCIAL. When’s the last time you met a new person on Facebook?
Exactly.
Nay, Facebook seems reserved for all the exes….ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-co-workers, ex-frenemies, and ex-classmates. Oh, and let’s not ignore the random FAMILY MEMBERS that seem to be creeping onto the ol’ interwebs more and more at a rather alarming rate, in my humble opinion. (Though I gotta give props to my bro…he and I were both on Facebook like a guilty little secret for ages before one of us finally mentioned it out loud. *That’s* the kind of discretion I can get behind!)
By the way….thanks, Facebook, for taking away that whole anonymity factor, forcing us to use first and last names! I’ve seen lots of clever variations…maybe an extra space between John Sm ith, just to make it that much harder to be tracked down.
But for people like myself, who like to keep a low profile, sooner or later the gig is up.
You can click those little ‘suggestions’ away as many times as you like…they’ll keep turning up like green potato chips.
You can change your privacy settings so no one can find you. But then, well, no one can find you. On those rare occasions I want to add someone, I’m not even look-up-able by email. It’s that private. So I change my settings to ‘only people on Facebook’ can search me. Then what happens? Green potato chip city.
Facebook. Find yourself here. Or lose yourself here. Look just pick one, alright? (photo by Lars Sundström)
Here’s the thing. I’m a nice person. No, really. People really do tell me all the time that I’m “too nice.” This phrase makes so little sense it makes me want to lie down, but that’s a story for another time. Calling someone “too nice” is like saying you had “too much fun.” As if there is some THRESHOLD OF FUN that we all need to abide by, and you totally crossed the line! Maybe next time you’re thinking about having some fun, you’ll be a little bit more cautious…as you delay the fun you should already be having, to make up for last time’s excess! That’ll learn ya!
Sorry. Had to run around the room for a minute there, chasing the elusive point I was trying to make. Ahem.
Yes, I am a nice person. I like people. Lots of people! I love meeting new people and socializing with new people. (Well, duh.) There are a few people I’ve met on Twitter that I’d love to add on Facebook. But it’s not like MySpace. Facebook is…personal. It’s the inner sanctum of social networks.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find myself hesitant to be the first one to bring up Facebook to a newer online acquaintance. Once *they* mention it, however, I’ll say “Oh, you’re on Facebook too?” as a sort of open-door lead-in. Not everyone is wild about sharing their first and last names. Those people will usually reply “Yep.” Others may say “Oh, yeah! Look me up under my email…purplesparklecat@wheemail.com!” and already, I’ve got more insight into their personality!
Psychedelic, man. (photo by Ivan Prole)
Conversely, and brace yourselves because this may shock you, gentle readers, but I don’t always want to be found. Oh, sure, at first I did the whole ‘holy crap I can’t believe it’s so-and-so!’ grade-school-on-up fest, but after about 5 minutes it became abundantly clear that most of these folks hadn’t changed one whit. Not only that, but I was being subjected to ‘status updates’ involving trashing Obama for his ‘pro-abortion’ stance and it got to the point where just logging in made me grit my teeth, so I did what any sane person would do: quietly weeded out all the offending persons and felt much, much better about life.
Good grief, people! Am I now supposed to wrestle with residual guilt in UNfriending folks who were never friends to start with, I hadn’t kept in contact with, and didn’t know the existence of two weeks prior? I think not.
Frankly, I find your sudden allegiance disturbing (photo by Gokhan Okur)
I think I summed it up best in an email to a long-time MySpace friend, explaining why I’m not easily found on there (though I did change my privacy settings just for her! Huzzah!):
“I dunno. I’m still not a huge fan of FB but everyone is ON THERE now, so..I’m just weary b/c now like a whole bunch of FAMILY is on there, ( so I feel like I have to censor myself, even though, hello? how old am I now?) and I am really NOT interested in ‘reconnecting’ with people who tormented me in grade school because I wore corrective shoes. I know, I know, forgive and forget blah blah blah but that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE and EMBRACE these people, now does it? Can *I* not decide now who gets to be in MY inner circle? Good gravy.
I am not BITTER.
I am HIDING.
There’s a difference 
Frankly, accepting friend requests from people who were never ‘friends’ to start with, simply because everyone else from back then seems to be having some sort of STROKE FEST on FB, feels a whole lot like peer pressure to me. And rather than repeatedly ‘just saying no’….I’ve gone stealth so that they can all sit back and talk about ‘what the hell HER problem is’ at the next reunion I will not attend. Whee!”
Wine may get better with age. You do not! Friendship fail. (photo by Aline Dassel)
And I love how you can try to toss those chips back time and time again, but they keep turning up. Sometimes as a random ‘people you may know’ suggestion. I have a ‘suggestion’ for you, Facebook: how about acknowledging that ‘knowing’ someone and ‘liking’ someone aren’t mutually exclusive?
It seems that no matter how many times I click that stupid ‘x,’ those *suggestions* not only don’t go away for long, sooner or later someone on my friend list will suggest that person as a friend. And although I may feel oddly bad about it, again, I will ignore the suggestion. I’ll do it! You may have tormented me in my younger days but I will click you now without compunction!
Any Friends fans out there? You know how Monica and Rachel had completely different experiences in school? One guess who *I* was. Huzzah!
I, for one, however, don’t let a few green chips ruin the entire bag. I like to keep in touch, and make new friends, so I will stay on Facebook. I have certain quirks about it, but those are for next time.
To sum up: yes, I will probably be happy to add you on Facebook. Baaaaaaa.
As long as you’re not one of my life’s green potato chips. 😉
September 14th, 2009 at 3:25 am
Amen!
For all of its unsavory aspects I really miss blogging on MySpace because it was easier to control what I wanted to be a public presentation versus a conversation with other minds I had become close with. Now that my only real blogging platform is a public one, I don’t blog as much because I have to think more about what I am putting out there (I can’t have random blogination attacks like I used to…I miss that). Plus, as you said, there was this mass migration to FB but FB is also a much more intimate arena in many respects. I had a mini-anxiety attack when I first realized it was like wandering into a big cyber highschool reunion.
*shudder*
But there has been many positives and I have adjusted and learned to edit. This ‘edit’ I speak of means my dog gets an earful because hey, it has to come out somewhere right?
September 14th, 2009 at 3:45 am
Well said. Yeah, I don’t like FB very much, either, mostly for all the reasons that you mentioned. I definitely like your point that you don’t make new friends on facebook. I made a number of friends on Myspace whom I valued more than anybody who popped up from 20 years ago. Hell, you’re one of them. When I think about it, though, I had every jerkoff and his mother wanting to befriend me on Myspace and half the time I had absolutely NO idea who they were. I dunno. I’m about ready to write a damn blog here about your blog, so I should probably knock it off and just go to work.
September 14th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Alegra, my dear, yes, yes, a thousand times yes to all you added. I’m only grateful we’ve finally reconnected after following different shepherds. Baaaaa. I’m still hopeful MySpace may make a comeback. Meanwhile…at least *you* have a dog 😉 xo
Kevin..you may write a blog on my blog any ol’ time. You know that. 😉 And you’re also one of my favorite people I’ve never met. I think you know that, too. 😀
September 14th, 2009 at 6:05 am
You said it all girl! I was thrilled about Facebook at first. Till those random family members started showing up and now I have to censor myself like I’m still in high school. Though, I don’t censor a whole lot cuz I figure if they are going to bother me in my realm (the internet is my realm now and my family needs to stay off it!), they deserve to be shocked by what I say.
So yeah, I Facebook, but I’m not always happy about it!!
Great post!
Raven
September 14th, 2009 at 6:18 am
LOL we sound so similar again. The internet is *my* realm, too, dangit! No one invited them 😉
And I’m still a bit weirded out what will happen when my immediate family discovers that, ya know, I HAVE MY OWN WEBSITE that I’m rather fond of and all that. It’s ridiculous, though. Family: because hiding is better than the aggro. Just so backwards. 😛 (p.s. I think you would really get a kick out of my older blog called ‘It’s the Network’. In my ‘Observational’ category. If you get a chance I’d love to know if your mom can possibly be as neurotic as mine) Huzzah! Thanks for reading 😀
September 14th, 2009 at 6:41 am
Funny! (And these comments from people who are all disappointed with Facebook, but who are still…on…it…serve as a real testament to the power of peer pressure.) Well, guess who ISN’T on there-pretty much for all the reasons you have outlined. 😉
(Hey, I don’t have to use my real name on twitter… )
🙂
September 14th, 2009 at 6:56 am
True. But for me, the desire to socialize won. I just thinned the herd, as it were. Baaaaaa. 😉
You could always sign up under an alias *wink wink*
Otherwise, alas and alack, I will have to settle for the other mediums.
September 14th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I could post another blog-length comment but really, you said it all. Everything you wrote – it’s why I don’t like Facebook. And why I’m still there. *sigh*
September 14th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Feel free to post any length (that’s what she said). But yes, great minds think alike. We’ve known this for years now. Huzzah! 😀 xoxo
September 14th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I’m kinda with Kevin. Why do I need an electronic connection with people I already see? Sure, it happens in MySpace but the whole drive of MySpace was to give a peek under our figurative skirt so that someone would be interested enough to want to check out the rest. As you might imagine, I am not a big fan of the privacy barriers put up in MySpace. I’m there to be seen, not to hide, my head buried in the electronic sand while my tail feathers wave in the network winds.
Bah, humbug, I say! All this e-socializing without a way to get e-touchy-feely! I’m off to sexbook where people still want to mingle.
(btw, I have no idea if there is a “sexbook” but its so derivititve I can’t see how it could fail)
September 14th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Hang on, people use social networking for DATING?! 😉
Besides, you can’t talk *too* much smack about them…there’d be a big Mary-shaped hole in your life without them, only you wouldn’t even know it, and then, oh THEN where would you be?
September 15th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Facebook, meh. I have a page because everybody does, but the only time I ever go there is if somebody writes on my wall. The few people that I do talk to are just other bloggers.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Lucky you! Though you did remind me of one other lovely feature of Facebook…emailing you for every single little stupid thing, or nothing. No in between. You can either find out when EVERYONE makes a comment on the same thread, or no one. What if I just want to know if the person who posted the status update replied to me? Nope. You get 25 emails “Sandman replied to Casper’s status” “Jillian replied to Casper’s status” “Your nose looks funny” <--that one may just be me
September 17th, 2009 at 7:47 am
I know what you mean. But I kind of keep my blog life and my facebook life separate. While I am fine with anyone on my facebook reading my blog, I don’t want anyone reading my blog on my facebook. Like you will mostly only hear me call the munchkin Monkey on my blog and hubby is usually just called hubby. 🙂
September 17th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Ohhhh okay. Had to read that about 15 times before it made sense to me. 😛 Now I gotcha. Not everyone on the blog is welcome on FB. My point exactly! Huzzah 🙂
September 18th, 2009 at 5:54 am
great post…{unfortunately}, it makes me want to be your friend on facebook…!
September 18th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Aw thanks! New friends aren’t green potato chips 😉 Email if you want and I’ll add ya 😀
September 18th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I like facebook. Sorry Mary. It keeps me in touch with long lost relatives. I do still keep my myspace because I am in touch with different friends/relatives than on my facebook. although some are duplicated, but that’s ok. I don’t usually have anything to hide. AND I can access facebook at work but not myspace – go figure…
September 18th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Flora! Don’t apologize lol. I write it..you don’t have to agree with it 😉 But you have to admit..we wouldn’t know each other if not for MySpace 😀
September 20th, 2009 at 3:28 am
Only just joined and cannot believe how right you are. Have college kids who and friends of friends of friends befriending me. Had so many mates ask why I wasn’t on it and I gave in. So weak!
September 20th, 2009 at 3:32 am
Ha! I know right? And there I went, asking you. They’ve got me, Dave. I’m so ashamed. 😉 In other news, isn’t it cool how I can link to my blog about hating Facebook ON Facebook? Whee 😛
September 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Hahahahhaa you crack me up! :)))
and i totally hear what you sayin.
i have a love hate relationship with FB
February 11th, 2010 at 9:10 am
yes face book is so …. and more even >
too crowded .