customer swervice
Is it just me, gentle readers?
Or has there been a marked, noteworthy, steady, maddening, soul-sucking decline in the way we-as-consumers are treated by those who take our money for goods and services?
I mean this latest fiasco with the DITO (Douchebag in the Office, whom we met in the last blog) just sort of…hammered the point home for me.
I’m not even sure what the source of all this malicious malaise is, gentle readers. Is it as simple as apathy? Or is it more complex….the knowledge that however hard you work at your dead-end job, your outgoings will outweigh your incomings and unless you want to opt for night classes in what little free time you have in an effort to give yourself a leg up into perhaps a better-paying job, nothing will change and you will continue your quiet struggle like so many others to keep your head above water and the creditors from your doorstep? And if that’s the case, aren’t we all in this together? I don’t know a single person who feels financially stable under the best of circumstances. You hear all the time how any given person is just two paychecks away from the streets.
What, precisely then, is the problem here?
I’m not up on my high horse here…..(my boys aren’t that tall)…most of my adult life has been spent working retail in one capacity or another. I dealt with the public for years and years. And of course there were several folks that made me pop a gasket once in awhile…the ones you just have to “can-you-even-believe-the-nerve” about for days just to recover from. We’ve all encountered those. (for me, most notably, was a female customer who was off the charts with me when I was visibly pregnant….because she was not permitted to sprawl across the entire aisle, both blocking other patrons and being a fire hazard to boot) But as much as I loathe to use cliches, gentle readers, I’ve found in my years on this planet that it really *is* true…..you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Smiles *are* contagious.
As a lot of you know, up until my maternity leave, for almost 6 years, I was a manager at a large retail bookstore chain. (I know, I know…living the dream….and what else is a college degree for? But actually my mom said it best when I told her about it and she said ‘It’s like the mothership….calling you home!’) I am, as stated in previous blogs, a book-whore….and getting paid to get a discount on my favorite poison (not to be mistaken for any fragrances accidentally ingested), whilst at the same time pimping said poison…..well, let’s just say I had enthusiasm for my day job.
And even on days when I didn’t, I faked it. Because if there’s one thing I’ve found, it’s that the days go a lot smoother when you’re having positive interactions rather than negative ones.
This time of year we’d be getting our new crop of seasonal employees, and having our big holiday meeting for the staff…..getting everyone geared up for the blood-sucking greedfest that is Holiday Time. Erm…I mean, the joyous lovefest that is the final two months of the year.
When my turn came for the ‘Pep Talk’ I said the same thing every year: No one enjoys holiday shopping anymore. It’s stressful, crowded, and irritating. Nothing sucks the joy out of the holidays faster than an afternoon of holiday shopping. Why not, (I maintained)…be the one bright spot in our customers’ day? Why not set ourselves apart by being unfailingly cheerful and passing on a few well-earned smiles for our crowd-braving friends?
It may sound like a load of horse puckey, but I stood behind it and meant every word. I reminded everyone that no lives were lost if a certain book could not be located or ordered in time, and that alternatives are usually snatched up in an effort to check off one more item on that shopping list. I reminded everyone to take a deep breath and ask for a few minutes if they needed it.
I like to think I made a difference. I like to think no one cringed when I was working, worried they would upset the apple cart.
I really REALLY got off track here (shocking, I know) but my point is: I’ve paid my dues in the customer service department. I’ve even spent years being the last one in line to handle complaints…no matter how insane or mundane (not to be mistaken for insane in the membrane..w0000t)
So it baffles me all the more when I encounter situations like I have recently, such as:
*the DITO telling us not to flush our one toilet until someone could come out and fix it….the following day
* getting an oil change from a popular place (rhymes with Jiffy Lube…oops) and driving home from said place to find the car smoking, pulling over, and discovering paper towels left on top of the alternator to catch fire
* having a satellite tv company be nothing but problems (installing the dish by anchoring it to the gas meters on the side of our apartment building, for starters, having us signed up for the wrong package, and having to thread the cables in through a partially-open kitchen window due to apartment regulations forbidding drilling through the wall, despite the fact that said apartments are aligned with this company and this is why we gave them a whirl), culminating in finding out the package we wanted was falsely advertised and no longer inclusive of all the channels as promised (here’s the kicker on *that* one…we were told they wouldn’t be changing the propaganda that was falsely advertised…nice)…and we would need to sign up for the more expensive package to get the channels we wanted (namely Comedy Central…..hello…what else is cable for???), but that we could call the next day and get a discount voucher for the difference in price….only to call the next day and be told we would *not* be getting a discount voucher for the difference in price……(wait for it….this makes my head hurt just remembering…) because we had already signed up for the more expensive package, thus demonstrating a WILLINGNESS TO PAY more for said channels….
I need to leave this one here, gentle readers, or I may have another psychic accident….suffice it to say that we no longer use this company, and they were told very succinctly where they could put their dish, in an effort to better receive communications in the future from the mothership they so clearly lost contact with some time ago.
Ahem.
* here’s one of my favorite ones….this one goes back a ways but it’s still unresolved, as it were….if you don’t care to wade through all that suffice it to say it is a rant involving both the DMV and the social security office…boo-yah.
I guess it’s not just big things, though. It’s the little things, too…those brief encounters with the clerks who act as if you’re interrupting their mental gymnastics by daring to ask for assistance…..the ones who will point in a limp-wristed way rather than show you where to find something…..
…the hostess at a crowded restaurant who says “It’s at least an hour wait” before you even approach the podium…..
…..the customer service rep who says “Thank you for choosing Verizon wireless” in the same tone you would announce the need for a root canal, an anal probe, or a mandatory double-shift….
….the bus driver who stops at a red light 10 feet from the bus stop and refuses to open his door for the person frantically pounding on it…..
What drives these people to be so rude? What satisfaction do they derive from it? Do they really get more out of their days by being Giant Poopy Pants? Do they really not let things like common decency, a tiny amount of pride in their work, or a pesky little thing called karma blot their already-murky horizons?
I’m asking you, gentle readers, because I really fail to understand.
And we’ve all been there. Please feel free to use this forum to vent some of your frustrations with customer swervice. I’ve dubbed it thus because it ain’t helping….it’s just dodging the issue.
Thank you for reading. And please…..smile at someone you don’t know today. Just cuz.