the learning curve
I think we can all agree, gentle readers, that I have been more than patient.
I have been very understanding and forgiving, allowing for a certain learning curve, for some time now.
(For some back story, oh, there are so many choices….but for a recent one, say, you can refresh your memory with Typical Mail)
But these clowns just
AREN’T
PAYING
ATTENTION.
So I will state, for the record, once again, what should be obvious by now:
YOU DO NOT WANT A PIECE OF ME DURING THIS MAGICAL THIRD TRIMESTER
Whew.
Now don’t we all feel better?
I know I do.
So much so, that here is a brief list of things that I am *almost* over, all of which occurred within the last 6 weeks:
1) A trip to the Social Security office to officially change my name, in which I finally:
a) corrected THEIR erroneous, sudden, inexplicable error on MY birthdate, nevermind that they themselves issued my card and should be well aware of such things (if you’re REALLY bored and want the back story on *that*, please see this blog), and
b) changed to my married name but, because I’m me, didn’t notice the error on my receipt for my new card had transposed two numbers of my address (which, by the way, was THEIR ERROR, as I had filled out the application correctly, but they don’t send *that* part in, oh no, they RETYPE IT INTO THEIR COMPUTER AND MESS IT UP), so that I may never *get* my new card, and when I called the next day to correct this error was told that they could only do so the same day I went in, and I tried very hard not to curse a blue streak in front of Puddin Face
(the card did come, since the wrong address didn’t in fact exist and the post office figured it out…yay!)
2) a trip to the bank to change my name in which I am told that I need my new license first, (which I can’t get until I get my new SS card, which at that point may or may not arrive, or involve me having to go back and reapply, and some teeny tiny part of my brain was functioning enough to recall seeing a sign in that office that they will NOT accept a paper temp license as valid ID so bully for me)
3) after receiving the SS card, going to the DMV to get my license in my new name and having TWO OF THE FOUR PEOPLE AT THE OPEN WINDOWS GOING ON BREAK RIGHT AS THEY GOT TO MY NUMBER AND NO I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP….it’s all in keeping with the Truman Show that is my life….(I’m convinced there are hidden cameras everywhere recording all this crap or what fun would it be for all of *THEM*?) and THEN having THAT RANDOM GUY WHO JUST WALTZES PAST EVERY PERSON IN LINE (you know who I’m talking about) to ask the one person whose window is now open (and I am only awaiting that magical number change on the electronic board to say 150 and that’s me! Whee!) but here comes chucklehead who just has to immediately have a pamphlet on motorcycle licensing and of COURSE my guy says ‘oh sure!’ but has none, so he has to ask the one other lady working, and she hunts but has none, so he GETS UP AND GOES INTO THE BACK TO GET ONE, and chucklehead not only GOES AWAY HAPPY but COMPLETELY MISSES MY HUGELY PREGNANT STINKEYE, giving me NO JOY whatsoever, and then my guy takes PHONE CALL and THEN whee! 150! That’s me! So I go up and tell him what I need and he says oh you got married congrats blahsie blah and then looks at his computer and goes (and I quote)
“Huh”.
(this ‘huh’, it turns out, is prompted by the fact that for SOME REASON KNOWN ONLY TO THE WORMS EATING MY BRAIN, my *birthdate* isn’t synching up in his computer (which is linked to the SS office, who changed this over two weeks prior at this point) and I am about to scream and then he tells me it would be ‘easier if he could see my SS card’ and did I happen to have it with me.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I did not. I called in advance and this was not on the list of needed items and who the frickin FRACK carries their SS card around anymore?? EVER?!?)
Anyway then I told him my actual bday, what the SS office had my bday down as until recently after some, like, 7-year glitch or something…and finally my SS number. Then he said “Oh, okay, there it goes. Whew! Now it’s synching up. If it didn’t I couldn’t do this for you today!”
Little did he know it was good for all of THEM that it worked out. As an aside, don’t you love when you wait 19 million hours in a place with signs on a wall that say “It is against the law to in any way threaten or intimidate a public official”?
3) Going to the bank and changing my name and being told my new debit card should arrive in 3-5 business days.
*It never showing up
*Calling the bank and being told that ‘whoever’ helped me was in error and the only branch that could issue me a new debit card was in California, where I opened the account over a dozen years ago
*@*(*(*&$(@**$& and asking to speak to a manager
*Being on hold so long I gave up and called the flippin Cali branch and ordered it already
*Being called back by my local branch manager who informed me that I was AGAIN told misinformation and that she could have, in fact, issued my new card
*@*((*$(*$
*Being given her direct line and told to deal with her from then on
*Meanwhile being erroneously charged twice for a large debit transaction, which for some reason prompted an overdraft charge WHILE THE ERRONEOUS CHARGE WAS STILL PENDING, said charge never going through the second time and then being given the runaround about refunding the stupid overdraft charge which was THEIR ERROR. (hint: I never go overdraft. Ever. This was insult to injury)
4) Having to call my local post office (this is the 4th time now, but who’s counting???) again YESTERDAY when once again, a package was left at the office instead of brought to my door.
Two side notes to this one: when I called the office today (where no one ever is) I got the voicemail of the cell phone of the manager (since she’s never actually *in* the office, if you recall) and asked if I could get my package. She actually called me back a few minutes later and said she could meet me there NOW because she was “closing up early today” to go to her niece’s bday party. It was TEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING. They are supposed to be open 9-5. How’s that for a short workday?
Also, all I had was a few books. I am panicking since in a few weeks I will probably never have time to read again like, ever. And being a stay-at-home mommy now and having no income of my own anymore, I don’t buy things for myself. (That debit purchase was a Father’s Day present for my hubby). But Amazon had this big Bargain Blowout (oh, how I miss my B&N discount!) and I bought a few. I was so excited to get them I even tracked the package. I knew it was here. And to be home all day and not even get a knock on the door but yet another little yellow slip saying ‘your package is in the office..’ Don’t get me wrong..I WOULD have no trouble going to the office for my package. Except no one is there. I have a five minute window every other week, say. But before we come full circle in a chicken-an-egg-like scenario, (which came first…the unstaffed office or the little yellow slip?)…I will digress.
Still. I think we can all agree.
I have been more than patient.
There’s even more, gentle readers….involving my credit union and the licensing agency (not to be mistaken for the DMV) which is responsible for car title and registration name changes, but I’m tired.
I wanted to get at least one or two more blogs out before I get this baby out
I miss you, gentle readers!
Thanks for being so patient with my cranky, overheated pregnant self. And I leave you with this……
we took Puddin Face to the petting zoo (she loves goats) and one of the goats sneezed. Puddin Face says “Bless you, goat!” and then “are you okay, goat?”
I could eat her with a spoon.
I may just.
Sounds like more fun than, say, flipping out and ending up headline news. Huzzah!