what the frig?
Greetings gentle reader! Er, ok I’ll be optimistic….gentle readerS.
Has it really been over TWO MONTHS since I posted last? Good grief. Well, my newest nugget, the Colicky Chitlin, is FIVE MONTHS old already, so I suppose….wow, that means I haven’t slept since my second trimester….I wonder how many brain cells I have left? Let’s explore, shall we?
If you’re reading this, then you will know how much I miss you all. Seriously. I’m the worst MySpace friend ever, and I know this. The problem is simple: my pissed-off princess has decided that, in general, only mommy will do. My partner in crime got laid off a few weeks ago, which sucks and is stressful and all-too-common these days, but we’re all healthy so I can’t complain. Still, though, I was hoping at least I could catch a nap now and again. Ya know, silver lining and all that. Hasn’t happened. Or it happens but I only sleep for ten minutes and wake up in the middle of the craziest dreams ever because we all know when you’re sleep deprived you immediately fall into REM sleep to catch up….which explains why I had so much dreamtime in college. But I digress.
I always seem to wake in the middle of a dream. Usually to Puddin Face saying “Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? ARE YOU AWAKE? Excuse me? Mommy?” I’m not kidding about the ‘excuse me’ part, either…it’s a hilarious way to wake up, anyway. But these dreams are getting nuttier and nuttier. The other day I woke up after attending a party in which I met Jim Carrey. It was SO VIVID my first thought when I awoke was “Gosh, when did I fall asleep at the party? I hope he wasn’t still talking to me!”
Last night I was on a gameshow. I’m telling you, gentle readers, I’m living large!
Random? Moi? How’s THAT for a segue?
Right. So here are my questions. Just my list of things I’ve been pondering in those rare moments when I get to be in my own head….
1) First and foremost, WTF is up with so many news stations (including CNN) referring to our Greastest President Ever as “Mr. Obama?” I really want to know. It’s so disrespectful and I’ve never heard that in my life. He was SENATOR Obama and now he’s PRESIDENT Obama. Puddin Face even knows this. What’s their excuse?
2) Why do our CFBs in the kitchen keep burning out? Aren’t compact flourescents supposed to last for years?
3) Why do so many hair and body products smell like FRUIT and other food items? Am I supposed to eat it or shower with it? I get the whole ‘good enough to eat’ idea, but do I really need to scent myself with pomegranate and almonds and grapefruit and lemon and peppermint and cherries? Really?
4) What would life be like without Muppets? Seriously…what if Jim Henson had never made them? Is it even worth thinking about?
5) Will I ever see a movie again?
6) Why do all delivery people knock like it’s the Spanish Inquisition? It’s an apartment for crying out loud. I’m not in another ‘wing.’
Ok, my time is up for now, my dear(s). Hope you are all well and wild and wooly (whatever that means!) Please do let me know what you’ve been up to!