igroan
Greetings gentle readers
This is going to be more of a traditional mayor blog today…I’m nothing if not resilient and want to give the rest of my readers a chance to revel in my dorkitude. I’ve also recently tracked down a few old friends (winkity wink) and on the offchance they read this, well…yay!
But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t first give you a Puddin Face update..somehow she is ELEVEN MONTHS OLD TODAY HOLY CRAP WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!?!? Seriously. It’s just not possible that it’s been that long since they first placed my long-long-loooong-awaited bundle into my eager arms for the first time. (is it?)
Every parent I know says the same thing. I finally get it. Time just flies.
I can’t help but wonder….where did the flip happen? It seems like when you’re younger you can’t wait to hurry up and get to the next milestone….didn’t it take FOREVER to be old enough to drive? Or have a legal beverage of alcoholic nature? Somewhere in there, a shift occurred, time sped up somehow, and now all I want to do is slow it back down again. And I’m *reasonably* convinced that there are still the same number of hours in a day, or days in a year.
Most peculiar.
Where was I? Oh, right. I put up a few new pics if you haven’t seen my bulletin. I will put more up soon, if I can remember (hint: don’t hold your breath)
Funny, too, how I seem to also be finding myself thinking things that all parents think and I, for one, never thought I would……”In *my* day, we never had the internet!”
“When I was growing up, our video games had one button and one joystick”
“We never had cell phones when I was a kid”
Do you understand what this means, gentle readers?
IT’S ALL HAPPENING!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
And as much as I am all for technology, I find myself scoffing at some of the latest advances.
Let me give you a few examples!
(and please PLEASE bear in mind that I am not a guy, have no dangly bits between my legs, and therefore may just not *get* the ultra-awesome-coolness factors involved, here)
Ahem.
Example #1: wireless tv on your phone
Thank you, Verizon, for showing us all that watching where you’re going…..just got boring. And I *love* the fact that all the ads show people wandering around….watching their phones. They even show one woman…..exiting an escalator, watching tv on her phone. Now I’m quite certain this may very well be just *my* problem…but if that woman was myself, the very next frame would be worthy of Funniest Home Videos (shot, of course, on your cell phone).
Example #2: the iPhone. Ah, yes. Pretty much without exception, every guy I know wants one of these. I even understand it: it’s new, it’s technology, it’s prohibitively expensive….the swordfights among men are everlasting and this is just the latest…sword. I *get* all that.
But honestly, is it really that great to be able to look at fourteen words at a time on your puny screen as you ‘surf’ the web on your ultra-cool new iPhone? Is it beyond my delicate female sensibilities to know why we must be connected AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT, and that it’s not enough to be able to check your email on your phone, IM from your phone, take pics and videos on your phone (that you can then instantly email to anyone from said phone)? Will anyone actually do anything crazy like TAKE A CALL on an iPhone? Will anyone even know HOW?
Why can I picture all-to-vividly someone tearing into the cool little box, playing with the iPhone, and reading the entire manual cover-to-cover about all the cool extras this phone has, glossing over the part on ‘how to answer your iPhone in the unlikely event it rings?’
And come on, guys. Be honest. With so many employers onto your ‘surfing’ activities at work, you just want to be able to download porn wherever you are.
THINK IT THROUGH. Will it really serve you, ultimately, to be wandering around with erm…..untimely excitement?
“Hey Bob….meeting in 5 in the conference room”
“Um….”
And don’t even get me STARTED on the driving thing. I have personally witnessed more people than I care to recall TEXTING while driving. This angers me so much I want to yell “Knock it off and talk on the phone while driving like a normal a-hole!”
Now I’ve gotta worry about people surfing the Net while driving? I have precious cargo, people. The most very precious cargo. And in my humble mama-bear opinion, people who are doing anything other than just driving while driving, should be locked up before they hurt someone. It’s just that simple.
Boo-yah.
So, to sum up…..
Yes, technology is great. Technology is even fun…in the proper context. But starting today I’m going to keep a running count of how many sidewalk collisions there are from people ‘watching’ their phones.
And if you have an iPhone, congratulations. Watch where you step.